I’ve been in a stable relationship for a while now so naturally the idea of being married to that person comes up. But I just can’t think of any argument in favour of it.
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The government is discussing equalising tax groups, so unmarried individuals are no longer disadvantaged compared to married couples.
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I engage in a contract with high risk. If I don’t get my legalese right, I risk forfeiting a sizeable portion of my belongings when the contract comes to an end. High risk should entail high reward but in fact I don’t see any reward.
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Getting married changes nothing about the relationship. Until recently, the government didn’t even recognise same sex marriages. So if a straight couple gets married, should that make their relationship more valid because the government decides to put a stamp of approval on theirs and not on a gay couple? I hope not.
I’ve tried putting myself in other roles to imagine why I would want to get married. This is what I came up with:
- I like labelling things and I like the sound of the label “married”
- I want a big party called “marriage ceremony” that other people also understand as “marriage ceremony” (as opposed to just any party)
- I like the way married couples are portrayed in films and books (Ignoring the fact that in real life, a lot of marriages are unhappy, dysfunctional and draining until they end up in divorce).


I don’t think there is any societal judgement these days. I’m 52, and while my parents were technically married when I was born, there is no evidence of that unless you look at my birth certificate. They married after I was conceived and divorced soon after I was born. No one has ever brought it up.
I think the biggest risk is feeling sensitive about it and outing yourself as giving it weight and opening yourself up to bullying. I met my birth mom when I was 18. And the importance with which she stressed that I was not a bastard really made me question why she assumed I’d give a damn.
She had a lot of weird hangups about my circumstances. I just wanted to meet my siblings. Meeting the person who possessed the womb in which I was formed only made me thankful things worked out as they did.
But I suppose other cultures probably view it differently.