When I was 8, I remember being bored and curious and touching a lot of parents stuff… phones… wallets… legal documents…
Most parents don’t put their stuff in safes…
Like… THE WALLET IS RIGHT THERE… I COULD JUST GRAB IT!
If they had age verification stuff back then… I could’ve just… quickly snap a pic of their ID and just YOLO it…
“Mom, why did hit me?” cries
“What, no honey I didn’t hit you.” presses button on smartphone app
“You fell, remember?”
“Oh yea, I fell. I love you mom.”
Honestly I wonder if there is hidden trauma that I forgot because my mom had some brainwashing sci fi tech that deleted my memories…
The sci fi tech is built into your brain. My wife doesn’t remember anything from the 3 years or so that she was being abused.
I’m more worried about losing the memories I have right now this moment.
Like… what if future me decides to go no contact…
Then mom find a sketchy mad scientist to kidnap me then brainwash me
Then me, not having the memories of all those abusive moments, I’d go back and wanna talk to her again?
I don’t even know if I am really who I am anymore…
Are those memories of us spending time together even real? Is the memories of cuddling ever real? Was love ever real?
Why do I have this craving for her affection? Even while I’m so anxious and afraid of her?
What the fuck is happening in my brain?
Aaaaaahhhh