I’ve got this horrible neighbour upstairs who might possibly be the loudest person in the western hemisphere. Walking around in heels for hours at a time, phone rings so loud that it’s more effective at waking me up than my alarm, constantly screeching furniture around all day everyday, blasting the same annoying movie at random times, and slamming doors every 15 minutes.
The apartment isn’t even that bad for noise seperation, I never hear the neighbours beside me or the ones under me. This woman is just annoying and I’ve gone upstairs before to tell her to stop blasting music at midnight in the middle of the week, she treated me like I was the maniac for having the audacity to knock on her door.
As I’m laying in bed last night after getting woken up and hoping today is the day she drops dead, I was wondering why she even needs to close doors. When I lived alone I don’t think I ever closed doors, maybe the bathroom on occasion but this old woman lives by herself with no pets yet she’s constantly slamming doors. Do people normally close doors often when they live alone?
I close bathroom doors, mainly to keep in the habit of doing it
- All under the assumption I am alone:
- Bathroom on toilet: Depends. Usually yes.
- Bathroom shower: Yes. I like it warm :)
- Living room (summer):
- If it’s hot inside and cant open the window -> No it’s kept open.
- If it’s temperate -> Yes
- Living room (winter): Usually closed at all times and only temporarily to vent it for fresh air
- Bedroom: Closed. I can’t sleep with an open door. Dunno why.
I had an upstairs neighbor who wore doc martens around every damn morning around 8 am. I didn’t get up until 9 so I found this awful.
Anywho. I met her in the elevator. And took a peak at her footwear and that’s when I confirmed she was in fact wearing big ass boots. Even in the damn summer!
Anyway. I’m also a woman and a decent judge of foot size. So I ordered her some foam slippers. Size 8. Which is average women’s size and I thought was pretty close.
But I ended up chatting her up a bit about some issue with someone stealing both of ours mail packages. And we decided to grab each other’s mail if one of us was around. We exchanged numbers.
And magically the boot stomping stopped before I could figure out how to offer her the slippers. I had this whole story how I was going to say I ordered them and they sent me the wrong size and yada yada.
I ended up giving them to my sister.
But my point is.
Make semi friends with them. And maybe they will naturally start being more considerate because then they know the person below them.
It’s an accountability thing.
And if that doesn’t work. At least then you are on friendly terms and you can bring up the issues with suggestions on solutions like bumpers for the doors.
You can say “yeah mine are also loud as hell and I added bumpers, I have a pack of them if you want me to bring them by”.
I also got a neighbor’s kid to stop letting his dog poop on my grass. Not by bitching him out but going out and being nice and asking him about his dog. Introducing myself.
It’s a manipulation tactic. But it honestly works very well. They feel guilt instead of feeling vindictive for your hostility.
This is the most rational take by far. If the person you’re working with is reasonable, this is my go-to.
Worth noting you need an ounce of charisma to make it work.
Oh I promise I tried. The first time I talked to her was because it sounded like she was rearranging furniture everyday but it would screech across the floor like nails on a chalkboard. Every morning around 7. My mom was going through chemo and radiation at the time so she was already exhausted all the time. One day I decided this was getting too ridiculous so I bought some felt pad stickers you put on chair legs. Brought them up to her, explained my situation calmly and even offered to put the stickers on her chairs for her.
She kept saying I was the guy from the 10th floor (I am not) and that she knows I’ve lived there for years (I had not). After I put the stickers on, she said “ok now get out and stay out!”. Pretty sure she took the stickers off because the screeching got even worse after that interaction. The next time I knocked on her door to ask her to turn her music down at midnight she just yelled at me through the door. This sack of shit has no intention to be friendly unfortunately.
Yikes. Have you talked to the building manager or landlord ?
Ya I’ve talked to the superintendent 4 or 5 times about it. Also had another neighbour across the hall that kept slamming their front door 10+ times a day so hard that my front door would rattle. Both situations he said he talked to them but nothing changed so either he’s lying or the 2 tenants dont give af.
I had to confront the neighbour across the hall personally before he stopped. He called me an asshole when I asked if he could stop slamming the door. The mindset and logic that these people operate on is incredible. The majority of the building are pretty considerate, I just got stuck living by 2 of the most miserable pricks.
I keep my doors closed both for climate control and light. I prefer darker spaces but I have indoor vegetable plants in my spare bedroom. I very softly close my doors though, because I’m overly sensitive to sound lol
I close some doors at night to reduce the light that comes into my bedroom in the morning, but generally no, not even the bathroom doors.
Sounds like your apartment building wasn’t made very noise-proof.
I don’t hear any of my other neighbours at all
Sound can also travel very oddly. I grew up in a house where my sibling’s bedroom was between my bedroom and my parent’s bedroom. I could have the radio on in my bedroom and turn the volume down so low that you couldn’t make out individual words if you were standing a few feet in front of the radio, and you couldn’t hear it at all in the hallway or my sibling’s room, but somehow in my parent’s room it was obnoxiously loud. I remember one time I had it on just loud enough to hear my music in my room and I went to my parent’s room to talk to them and almost had to yell to be heard over it. I had to use headphones all the time and I couldn’t have private conversations in my bedroom if I didn’t want my parents to hear.
When she’s in one of her music moods it’s so loud you can hear it not just in my apartment, you can hear it through half the hallway on my floor, you walk up to her floor and it sounds like a full on concert. The cherry on top is that she blasts music or movies as late as 1 am and as early as 6 am. Last summer she had a habit of hammering at things in the middle of the night, like 3/4 am. I haven’t slept without headphones since I moved here and I’m averaging about 5-6 hours of sleep a day. I am not exaggerating when I say I hope she drops dead, I can see in the mirror that I’ve physically aged like 10 years in the 1.5 years I’ve been here.
Dang, that’s rough. It sucks that neighbors can really affect your quality of life so much. My first apartment was great the first 2 years and then I had an unemployed couple move in below me and all they did 24/7 was sit outside under my windows and heat/ac unit and smoke and it filled my apartment with smoke (I’m really sensitive to smoke and get horrible migraines from it), talk loudly, and have really loud sex at all hours of the day (which was amusing but obnoxious). Shortly after they moved in another couple moved into the apartment that had a balcony adjoining ours and they were potheads who were too lazy to take their dog out to use the toilet, so they just let it out onto the balcony to go right onto the floor. It smelled so bad we couldn’t use ours anymore or open the door to it. I was so grateful when my lease was over and I could GTFO. My neighbors in my current apartment are fantastic and I’m in terror of the day one of them moves. As a long time night shifter sometimes I’m worried that I’m the loud one, I try to be quiet but I’m just nocturnal by nature and I’m on the top floor.
Ya it absolutely sucks not being able to rest properly at home, I’m pretty sure there is zero upside to it. Sorry to hear you’ve had your fair share of annoying neighbours, some people just suck so much.
Yes. Never liked the feeling of sitting or sleeping in a room with the doors open. Also I generally have the heating at different levels in different rooms.
I have neighbours like that. I’m usually very self conscious about being the one who’s noisy but they can get it, I don’t care. Their kids, barely teenagers, are still up when we go to bed, screaming at each other in their bathroom where we can hear them verbatim. Or being out in the evening on their trampoline in the front yard, we can pretty much join the conversation.
I’ve been in the situation where I heard people moving their furniture around almost daily. It’s usually not what you think it is. Most people have no idea how their noise affects others. It can just be someone falling in their seat on the couch that can make it sound like they’re moving the couch. This is why our couch is up against the wall, so it doesn’t move. We have those little felt things under chair legs to prevent scraping noise. We take our shoes off inside the house. And if we do watch movies, tv or listen to music, even when having a modest party, we keep the music at a reasonable volume so we can still have a conversation.
It’s common decency that loads of people don’t do because they are inconsiderate. Not because they’re inherently bad people, they just haven’t been taught to take others into account. And they get away with it because those who do, usually avoid confrontation.
I understand some people are ignorant but I’ve talked to this woman about the noise a couple times and I’ve had the superintendent talk to her. I would not be surprised if her other neighbours have also complained. The reason I know she’s just annoying is by her reaction of being told she’s loud. A reasonable person would say sorry and try to change but this woman considers it a nuisance if I tell her she’s being excessively loud.
I read that you did, indeed. I think it’s commendable and a whole lot better for your personal wellbeing than just lying back and taking it. Thing is that the best case scenario is that they’ll say they never realised how their actions have affected others. It’s however far more likely that they think you’re being overly sensitive and that it can never be that bad. It’s sort of similar to having a spouse who snores. You can tell them they snore all you like, they’re not hearing it and they really won’t know what impact it has on you. Short of you recording them, or them moving into your place while you go stomp around upstairs.
Your neighbour possibly already thinks that she’s being as considerate as she can be, in the sense that not blasting music or watching movies, or walking around in heels, is limiting her in her freedom. She’s not going to stop doing stuff she wants because someone else is hindered by it. It’s the same type of person that blocks the aisle of the supermarket whilst having conversations with others. Those who run elbows first through a crowd to get a place up front. Those who talk through movies. They are oblivious to what effect their actions have on others.
The bedroom door at night - leaving that one open would spread unease imo. Otherwise bathroom when im on the toilet or in the shower.
I close the doors to the rooms we dont use often, keeps the temperature a bit more under control. otherwise no as long ad its just me and my girlfriend in the house
I always leave all my doors open. I have a cat and she likes to walk around. Also if I leave the blinds open on the front windows there’s technically a direct line of sight from the front walkway to my bathroom toilet through like two open doors so if someone really wanted to they could watch me poop
Have you tried talking to your neighbour?
Yes, that’s what I meant when I wrote that I’ve gone up to tell her
In the winter
