I (a man with a penis) recently had my first time penetrating a vagina. I found it quite underwhelming, the sensations were there, I didn’t really struggle to orgasm (though the only position were I was able to get there was missionary where I control everything), but still I was disappointed by the sensations being 10 times weaker than what I feel by myself with a toy.

This didn’t make it a bad experience on the contrary. But the most fun part for me clearly was not the stimulation but rather the feeling of caressing her skin and her desire for me.

Am I the only one having such an experience?

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    3·
    11 days ago

    You’re definitely not alone!

    Our brains ans bodies have the annoying habit of getting used to a given range of sensations being in the pleasure zone. It doesn’t even have to be your first experience with a given type of sex for it to be underwhelming, because once you get into a habit, switching to anything just isn’t “right”. Getting used to vaginal, switching to masturbation can feel blah. So can anal or oral, even if they’re something you previously enjoyed with the same partner. It’s all about habituation.

    Plus, if you’re circumcised, that can cause sensitivity issues that amplify the issue.

    So don’t worry. If you’re going to be with your partner repeatedly, all you’ll need to do is lay off toy use for a while as you adapt. Then you’ll start perceiving the sensations more, or discover ways to improve sensations.

    Even then though, it’s not unusual to have to be the one controlling things to really enjoy every stroke. There’s a lot to be said in favor of a partner doing the moving, but the truth is that the purely physical pleasure levels are mostly going to require the ability to vary speed, force, depth, and other factors to be maximized for one person. Just be aware that if that’s the way every session works, it could end up as bad sex for one or both parties. Probably will tbh, and especially so for the receiving party unless that’s their preference.

    For real though, you don’t necessarily have to pull tricks to “tighten” a vagina (or anus for that matter, because if a partner is into anal, the muscles there relax during the process) to have pleasure, you just have to get used to the difference. Tighter doesn’t mean better, just more intense. It can be helpful to bridge the gap while you’re adapting, and if you’ve got significant changes to your penis; but even then tight isn’t automatically the path to pleasure.