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Or just have sex more and lay off the toys

Thanks very helpful.

Agreed 100%.

There’s no equivalent to the cuddling and the feeling of being wanted by the other person when alone.

It’s just not the same experience at all.

I’m also planning on talking about it with some friends next time we get the chance.

And to be honest I did two things that helped me a lot, I listened to a lot of les couilles sur la table and le cœur sur la table, two very good French feminist podcast that really helped me be a better person overall but also have a healthy attitude towards sexuality and I had the good idea to watch some fingering tutorials and I was able have some idea what women overall tend to like (curve the fingers up, and never stop focusing on the clitoris outside).

My partner at the end told me “hey it was your first time but you did very well not to just stop when you came most men don’t do that”. Well, thank feminist podcasts for that one 😂.

The time it took was not a stress factor for me, as we were both clearly enjoying the moment, It’s just that she did not seem to be into starting slowly. This was not planned and it’s very unlikely to happen again with this woman, so we did not have anything to help besides our bodies and 2 condoms 😅

I learned a lot about myself and I think I learned a thing or 2 that will apply to other women in the future. For sure my ex girlfriend was very different (due to health issues it never got beyond the hands) so I know generalizing over every woman is to be avoided.

Thank you for the valuable advice!

Looking at this reddit post it seems to suggest having the woman orgasm before penetration is not the best idea with all women.

Thank you for the help!

First times are rarely optimal mentally, with performance anxiety and all around thinking going to the max. You will enjoy it more by letting go and relaxing, the both of you.

She had already much more experience with this and said the same thing. We had sex twice and the first time it started way too fast for me I was quite anxious and didn’t really felt at ease. The next morning it was much slower I was much more able to get into it and she did too I think.

Regarding anal, yeah I might try that at some point (I already play with this by myself I know how to do it cleanly and not painfukly, and I’m bisexual so…) thanks for warning me it might be the same.

Regarding her coming first, she was really into penetration so not much shot at it. And given how long to took me to make here come after I came (hands and mouths) this seems a hard goal to reach. I’ll try that next time. I had no idea coming made vaginas thighter.

Maybe. We didn’t use lube. She was most certainly turned-on so yes probably quite lubricated as far as natural lubrication can go.

Sadly this will be just a one night stand. While we’ll meet each other again because we know the same people, she made it clear she’s not interested in a recurring relationship with me 😔

We’re talking a non vibrating toy ( the Ben by passage du desir ). I have a vibrating one but I don’t like it that much because it’s too rigid.

The backdoor tends to be tighter and give a more intense feeling in my experience though.

Yeah maybe I’ll try that at somepoint, but this wasn’t really planned we didn’t have lube or anything to clean, I’m lucky I thought about always having condoms with me 😅. And I’m not sure most women enjoy this so 🤷

Yup that’s pretty much the most enjoyable part for most people I think.

Thank you for the confirmation.

Yeah, I feel like sex isn’t the the main dish, the main dish are the cuddles and the sex is just the spice to make it even more fun.

Yeah that’s pretty much my case too. Only a couple of month ago did I stop using just my hand (+lube) and started using a toy (similar to a fleshlight)