Key points::
The largest study of women’s orgasms to date collected data from 27,931 women.
Nearly half of the sample (47%) reported reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner.
The most common reasons for orgasming alone or with a partner related to relational factors, not anatomy.
Partnered orgasms, but not solo orgasms, were associated with overall sexual satisfaction.
I feel like that’s expected. I would think you’d find it similar with men too.
If your masturbating, them the goal is your own pleasure. When with a partner not, only are there other people to think about, but there is more room for things to not play out perfectly (tiring out, something throwing off the rythmn, etc.), or sometimes your own gratification isnt the focus.
Only if you ignore the orgasm gap between men and women.
You might find the actual article interesting. It touches on why some women orgasm easier on their own vs with a partner.
I mean, the orgasm gap is a seperate, although related issue. The main premise of the article is that women orgasm more by themselves than with a partner. I was just saying that statement would be my baseline assumption given the reasons why people masturbate vs engage in sex.
I think the article is good, but seems to mostly just reaffirm previous findings/understanding of human sexuality.
Women who orgasm more by themselves aren’t necessarily doing it because they don’t want to engage in sex, but because they’re unable to be satisfied by a partner for many reasons. And those reasons include relationship issues aside from just skill in bed.
It’s actually directly linked with the orgasm gap considering men generally are fine with orgasming themselves and allowing their female partner to languish during partnered sex.
Jack is saying the same logic applies to men.
If you take both men and women, where each or either orgasm more often by themselves, than with a partner…
Sometimes, they can’t get there due to issues with the partner.
(Well, he’s originally saying the inverse, that sometimes men or women don’t reach orgasm.as often because they’re spending more focus on trying to get the partner to climax, but I’d argue the same logic still applies either way, though with an asterisk*)
Now, of course, generally speaking, women fall into this category much more often than men.
But some men do fall into this category.
What you are saying is also true, but, not the same thing as what jack is talking about.
*asterisk:
the study interestingly notes that a signifcant reason why women often give that they do not orgasm with a partner is that they feel pressured to have an orgasm.
this is… confounding, at least to me, because this implies the possibility of a situation where a partner is distinctly trying to specifically service the woman, but that in and of itself would make her less likely to … orgasm.
Anyway I found this interesting:
So apparently, the… number scale here is:
0 = Never 1 = Have done at least once but not in 6 months 2 = Sometimes 3 = Often 4 = Always
… and then they did a numerical mean of numbers mapped to those categories. So its not an actual count of # of orgasms, its basically behaviors weighted to resulting in any number of orgasms.
So basically, that serves as roughly a cheat sheet for any partners of the ‘mean’ woman, looking to get her there, so that’s pretty useful!
Interesting go see actual numbers put to that sort of thing, I’ve not seen this before, and this is a pretty big sample group, so probably pretty accurate… at least the partnered section is inline with my intution/anecdotal experience, so, thats good to know i suppose.
… and also, given the context, I found this method of graphical representation… extremely amusing:
hurr durr what does that look like hahaha!
Men will often take it personally if a woman doesn’t orgasm during partnered sex. Which in turn puts pressure on the woman to perform. Because even a woman’s orgasm is a reflection of her male partner and his ego instead of being something for her.
It’s clear you both didn’t understand the point of what the study was trying to point out. Especially because men orgasm 95% of the time during partnered sex. And having said study done looking at women doesn’t mean that men don’t ever find themselves in similar positions.
I mean, I can read and understand the article.
I’m just commenting on others thing or specifics elements of it, trying to clarify what seems to be two people talking past each other.
The study… itself… made many points.
I’m not challenging any of them, I’m just commenting on the bits I personally found most interesting, given that you’d already well covered the main jist of it in your comments, that already existed, when I made my comment.
Anyway, in general, I think its something of a tragedy when two people are with each other, and one or both of them feels like they have to put on a performance, as opposed to just actually being honest with each other.
Ideally, they’d both trust and communicate with each other well enough that that would not be a factor… as the study notes, a huge factor for women that do get there more often with partners than by themselves, is basically that they trust, feel safe, and communicate well with their partner in the bedroom
I guess perhaps I am a bit of an odd duck in that I am a guy who has been in the situation of … my female partner expected me to orgasm, repeatedly expressed concern and worry and even sadness that I hadn’t yet… and despite both our efforts toward that for over an hour… with an otherwise uh, capable and excited member… it just wasn’t happening.
So I’ve been in that 5%, at least a couple of times.
From my point of view, yeah I feel like I did experience a bit of that same dynamic you describe, but sex inverted.
Its just… strange, basically, seemingly paradoxical, but not actually… its like you say, but again sex inverted; I felt like I was letting her down, like my climax was a reflection of her in some way, something I owed to her, frustrated with myself a bit.
But, perhaps because I am a guy, perhaps because I am me, I didn’t consider ‘faking it’. So, that part of it was certainly different.
… and if you can’t tell, well, I’m still hesitant to just directly talk about it. Because I still feel somewhat guilty and ashamed by this, even though I know that… that doesn’t really make any sense.
She had a uh, peakingly good time! … but it would have been better, for her, if I also had had the same.