I tried making a Reddit account and it asked me to build karma before I could ask on any of the relevant subs so I’m posting here.
I can personally say that if anything goes up there, it hurts, and not in a good way. It does not feel pleasurable at all. It feels kind of like placing a finger on an open sore and pushing down.
Also, if you’re being examined, they tell you to take deep breaths, as if they know that anything going up is going to be painful. If sex is supposed to be pleasurable and enjoyable, why would doctors tell you to brace for impact, so to speak?
Lastly, women often scream during sex. It’s often said they’re screaming out of pleasure and not pain. But there are a lot of things I find extremely pleasurable, but I don’t scream while I do them.
Is it just one of those things that is painful but we’re conditioned into believing the pain is actually pleasure and I must have inconsistent pain tolerance and I am making a big deal out of this?
Yes, women do very much enjoy sex. Pleasure and pain can be mixed in enjoyable ways during sex, but no, it is not normal to experience pain during sex, nor is it required. You have to be lubricated enough. At the doctor, they will use their own lubricant, but having a stranger examine you is one of the least sexy experiences out there, and they use a somewhat sharp, cold metal instrument to stretch and hold you open beyond what inserting a penis would do. So it is not surprising that it hurts and is uncomfortable. Sticking something inside yourself “cold” with no buildup or sexual desire will have a similar effect. It is not a pocket.
A few things:
Since it appears you have not had sex before and don’t use sex toys very much, you probably still have your hymen intact. This is a membrane that will eventually be torn by inserting something. Sometimes this is a bit painful, sometimes it bleeds, sometimes you don’t even notice. Once that is out of the way, you should be good to go.
Key word being “should”. It is always possible that you have a condition such as vaginismus, which causes unusual pain. If so, there are types of physical therapy that can help or overcome it. Talk to your doctor if you are concerned. Tip: you may want to bring a man with you, even if it is your dad. Vagina stuff is often not taken seriously by doctors. It is dumb but I don’t make the rules, just stating facts.