For us both, really. Its caused a lot of strain on our relationship. I am more than happy to masturbate, but it doesn’t scratch the same itch for me as sex with my wife - lack of intimacy, I guess, but also just I love pleasuring her and I miss that. My wife finds masturbation to be wholly unsatisfying and gets outwardly frustrated if she goes solo for a while.
We both work full time and are juggling taking care of the baby, so many days we just don’t have the bandwidth to both have free time and privacy at the same time and thus initiate sex. Usually we’re worn out by the time the baby is asleep, and even if one or both of us is in the mood we just don’t have the energy. My wife has expressed that she feels rejected and unattractive because of it, and I find myself depressed and also a bit unattractive if I’m being honest.
But we are good communicators with each other, and we’re working through it. Its just hard.
“Horniness is the suspension of disgust” is going in my quote book, fyi. It also explains some things about me and my near-constant horniness. And, I think in some ways, the stereotypical CIS male mindset in general. Thank you for this