I hate when websites use the terms “Item arrives before Mother’s/Father’s Day”.
Makes me want to cry, thinking about the alternate timeline where I have a normal life and no depression/anxiety.
I really like that showerthoughts is apparently far less harshly moderated than r/showerthoughts. Posting over there feels like a mine field where the chances of getting your post deleted over a trivial mistake seem to be much higher than the chances of being able successfully post there.
I’m sure this post wouldn’t have survived at r/showerthoughts and I would have missed out on it.
Problem with anxiety is that literally anything can be a trigger, that makes it so complicated (even impossible) to create a world without them.
I don’t want to belittle the point that you are raising, I for myself have more then enough other anxieties to know better then that, and you have my fullest sympathies.
yep bullshit holidays.
I’m a dad and I love spending time with my kids. I absolutely don’t want them to ever feel obligated to hang out with me or buy me a card or present or anything because of some bullshit holiday.
My wife is on all the normal social media, insta, Facebook and such, and has such high expectations for mothers day because it seems to have become some sort of requirement to make a post bragging about what your family did for you on mother’s day.
I hate it all so much.
I spend time with the people I love and I frequently tell them how much I love them and do things to demonstrate it too.
mother’s day, father’s day, valentine’s day and Christmas gift giving expectations can all go fuck right off.
As a mother I don’t really care for mothers day either. Nor do I care for Valentine’s day.
I am a mother everyday, and I love my husband everyday, I don’t need a capitalistic holiday that requires spending money to celebrate this.
I’ll take the cake on mother’s day, but mostly it’s for my kid and husband feel good for doing something, not because I expect it. Corpo holidays can fuck off wirh their expectations, yes
They’re also no picnic for people who want kids but can’t have them despite years of trying.
Yep or have lost a child
Is this really a showerthought?
If you cry in the shower it saves on water and tissues.
Seems like a really difficult, odd thing to gatekeep. It’s defined as “thoughts that pop into your head while you’re doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming.” It’s literally almost meaningless.
I always think of shower lights as things like: “I wonder what an animal that evolved wheels would look like”
I had a horrible childhood and I’m not in touch with my parents, so I’m really glad you said this. I dread mother and fathers day each year. Have you found !dadforaminute@lemmy.world it’s great for people like us
I didn’t know about that one; seems cool.
It’s a good group hope it helps
Trauma is a tough thing to deal with. I hope you find peace and happier times. I have to throw myself into projects and do my best to block out the thoughts. The anniversary of the crash that disabled me has been hard for the last few years. The 10 year, was the worst though. I hope your life is less impacted than being forced to lay in bed most of your days.
Other people’s problems certainly do not make your own any better, but it can add perspective, like if they can do x, y, or z, than I might be able to do this other thing.
Anyways, condolences on your interpersonal loss and feelings of difficulty - from a random digital neighbor that cares to share a few words. Exercise is the easiest form of accessible endorphins and a path out of depression.
My sympathy for the chinese with abusive and unsupportive parents growing up and then being shoved in their face by multimillion companies guilt-tripping ads telling them to go home and visit their parents and cherish them on every lunar new year.
You can go to jail in some countries for cutting ties with your abusive parents. It’s so fucked up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_responsibility_laws
Typically, these laws obligate adult children (or depending on the state, other family members) to pay for their indigent parents’/relatives’ food, clothing, shelter and medical needs. Should the children fail to provide adequately, they allow nursing homes and government agencies to bring legal action to recover the cost of caring for the parents. Adult children can even go to jail in some states if they fail to provide filial support.
In 2012, the media reported the case of John Pittas, whose mother had received care in a skilled nursing facility in Pennsylvania after an accident and then moved to Greece. The nursing home sued her son directly, before even trying to collect from Medicaid. A court in Pennsylvania ruled that the son must pay, according to the Pennsylvania filial responsibility law.
In Germany, people who are related in a “direct line” (grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren) are required to support each other, this includes children with impoverished parents (de:Elternunterhalt, support to parents).
In France, close relatives (such as children, parents and spouses) are required to support each other in case of need (fr:obligation alimentaire, duty to support).
Singapore, Taiwan, India, and Mainland China criminalize refusal of financial or emotional support for one’s elderly parents.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_piety
In some societies with large Chinese communities, legislation has been introduced to establish or uphold filial piety. In the 2000s, Singapore introduced a law that makes it an offense to refuse to support one’s elderly parents; Taiwan took similar punitive measures.
Some scholars argued that medieval China’s reliance on governance by filial piety formed a society that was better able to prevent crime and other misconduct than societies that did so only through legal means.
Keep in mind in Germany this only applies to children making 100,000€ per year or more with impoverished parents provided the parents did not abuse the children. If you can prove you were abused and it would be an undue hardship to provide support then you can be exempted.
Which just keeps the cycle of “My retirement plan is having kids,” which generally leads to people not having kids to enrich new human lives and make new beings that learn and improve from their parents, but rather to systemically guide new humans through enforced potential financial success in the self-interest of a high return when retirement comes.
Is this not just slavery of your progeny?
Not really IMO. Is it slavery to require parents to provide for their children? Familial ties are meaningful in the eyes of the law.
Also for people who’ve lost one or both.
I’ve had some sites offer an opt out of marketing for these days. That was a nice surprise.
they’re hallmark holidays. it’s all marketing. santa was co-opted by coca-cola. easter was co-opted by nestle. most of the others (mothers day, fathers day, valentine’s day) are all just manufactured occasions created specifically to sell stuff.
That’s true but OP is making a point that people who were abused by their parents are a relatively common minority, as opposed to people abused by Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny which, for sure, there may be some out there but probably not that many.
What exactly are you trying to do with this comment?
It does explain why Amazon (and every other company and by extension large parts of society) entirely focusses on “buy X for your mother/father right now” instead of even acknowledging hardships and difficult situations (abusive parents, dead parents, parents with dead children/miscarriages, people who want to have children but can’t, parents with difficult relationships with their children, …).
There’s no room for subtlety and compassion when money can be made.
In an ideal world, these holidays would be divorced from making money, and if not that, shops would at least allow you to select what holidays you want to appear in their marketing material.
True, but who asked for any of that? This post is venting about how the holidays remind them of abuse, not asking why the holidays exist. What’s supposed to be OP’s reaction?
“Oh, you’re right, I guess I’m dumb for being sad about holidays that only exist to sell cards. You’ve cured me!”
Sounds like you can’t handle multiple facets of a topic at the same time.
What i can or can’t handle isn’t relevant or what I’m talking about…
I’m telling you it sounds ignorant and insensitive
It sounds ignorant and insensitive to suggest that companies should not monetize and advertise potential trauma-triggering holidays or at least allow users to disable that monetization/advertising?
Do you read what you and I write? Or do you just want to be outraged at all costs?
I’m not suggesting that, and it didn’t seem to me like OP was either
