What do you think more people should experience as part of their journey of exploring their sexuality that, in your opinion, not enough people have tried?

  • zigmus64@lemmy.world
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    12 days ago

    Generally, I’d say anything they have personal taboo about that’s related to societal norms (assuming safe, sane, and consensual, and also assuming the agency to determine as such). Chances are that if there’s a taboo around it, it’s probably awesome.

    Specifically, everyone should try anal. Seems cliche to suggest, but anal play, at least among men, is heavily connected to ideas around sexuality. That, somehow, if you like your butt hole played with, you might be gay. Last I checked, you had to prefer playing with other dudes to be gay. And contrary to popular belief, not all gay men like anal… plus, there are myriad ways to stimulate your butt that don’t require another guy. Just because you like butt stuff doesn’t mean you like guys (as if that would even be a bad thing anyway).

    Generally speaking though, if society could let go of its puritanical views around sex and sexuality, people would be a lot happier. People should feel free to shove whatever they want, wherever they like, with whomever they choose, provided all the assumptions cited above.

    Edit: for the record… all women should try anal too. There’s no shortage of nerve endings down there for them… regardless of the presence or lack of a prostate.

    • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      If a woman straps on a dildo, and you’re dressed like a woman, and you’re sucking her cock, and she’s saying, “You like it, don’t you? You like sucking my dick you little fucking removed,” and then she rolls you over and fucks you in the ass and says “You love it you little pussy boy! You love getting fucked in the ass. I’ll bet you wish I was a man! I’ll bet you wish this was a real cock, you fucking removed!” and you’re getting off on this like you’ve never gotten off before, that’s still straight.

      –Gay/Not Gay, by King Missile

      Edit: Huh, I just copy and pasted those lyrics, and noticed the Removed(s). Is that an instance auto-edit, or did SwiftKey do that?

          • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            11 days ago

            Well then here I’ll just call myself a fag and see what happens.

            Oh no! Senpai! I’ve reached over to grab this faggot and , and… its too heavy!

            Can you help me lift it?

            Here lets copy paste some other song lyrics as well:

            Welcome to a new kind of tension

            All across the alien nation

            Where everything isn’t meant to be okay

            Television dreams of tomorrow

            We’re not the ones who’re meant to follow

            For that’s enough to argue

            Well maybe I’m the faggot America

            I’m not a part of a redneck agenda

            Now everybody do the propaganda

            And sing along to the age of paranoia

            I’m still gonna argue that actual lyric is ‘all across the aryan nation’, not ‘alien’, all the lyric sites are wrong lol.

            • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              11 days ago

              I’ve never heard this song before, but I listened to that part and I hear “alienation/alien nation” when I listen… but, despite not being a dumb little pun, “aryan nation” fits so much better thematically.

              • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                11 days ago

                I am still to this day convinced that is the actual lyric, because I’ve heard it from them live, within a few years of the album coming out…

                …and the FCC, well, they have limits.

                Its astounding to me that they were able to say ‘faggot’, imo, given that you had like uh, the Electric Six being unable to say ‘let’s start a war, start a nuclear war, on the dance floor’, around the same time… tons more examples from the early 2000s of songs being censored for mass broadcast… Eminem: ‘FCC won’t leave me be’…

                There was like a year long period afted 9/11 where just literally every song from Rage Aginst the Machine was banned from being played on the radio.

                Just, all of their songs.

    • PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.worldOPM
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      12 days ago

      Yep, read my post about the “PS-spot”. It’s a little known pleasure center that can be stimulated either through the anterior wall of the anus or the posterior wall of the vagina. If you try the latter, it’s essentially around the same depth as the prostate is for people with penises.

    • velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11 days ago

      This was going to be my answer, so I’ll just throw my support and further thoughts on yours.

      Pegging in particular I would recommend to all genders (if there’s even a little bit of interest, of course). As a woman, it helps give perspective on what people with penises deal with during sex. And I think men can benefit from being in a position of being penetrated and communicating with someone topping them.

      Anal play is a real fraught subject in women’s circles, often chalked up to something only men want. There’s SO MANY erogenous areas there and it can feel amazing with the right partner who listens. It takes a lot of foreplay and trust, so I understand where the turn off comes from, but I still would recommend it at least once or twice to everyone.

    • basicpervert@fedinsfw.app
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      10 days ago

      Am man and yes, anal sex for me (pegging, toys, wifes fingers & hopefully one day her fist) feels amazing.

    • Jarix@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      I’m pretty sure a thousand ER doctors just got a headache from preaching putting whatever you want wherever you want

      • zigmus64@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        assuming safe, sane, and consensual, and also assuming the agency to determine as such

        People should feel free to shove whatever they want, wherever they like, with whomever they choose, provided all the assumptions cited above.

    • minorkeys@sh.itjust.works
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      11 days ago

      Last I checked, you had to prefer playing with other dudes to be gay.

      I mean you don’t have to have a penis anymore to be a dude, so…

          • riquisimo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            11 days ago

            Oh get a hobby.

            Not all dudes have penises. Big deal. You know what they meant.

            Being gay doesn’t require dudes, yeah, because lesbians are a thing.

            Either you’re an ally or you’re not. Spit it out but don’t beat around the bush. OP meant no disrespect, but when you act ambiguous like that it makes you look like you mean disrespect.

            • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              11 days ago

              For real, imagine thinking it’s not gay to be a dude and get fucked by Buck Angel hahaha

              “but his… he doesn’t… wait…”

            • minorkeys@sh.itjust.works
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              11 days ago

              I genuinely don’t. Y’all have played around with language and concepts to the point it isn’t clear what lots of stuff means, especially if one’s hobby isn’t ally studies. Since, apparently, I don’t have hobbies, I guess it isn’t.

              • PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.worldOPM
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                11 days ago

                See what happens when you use arbitrary labels for things that are more complicated than previously thought?

                Is it “gay” for a cis man to be attracted to trans women? Is it straight? What about a cis man being attracted to trans men? Is he gay or straight? I gave my answer to that but because other people have different interpretations, so labels like “gay” and “straight” should be reserved for self-identification and not as ways to identify an outgroup. That’s why those labels are unhelpful in these contexts: It makes talking about the physical acts confusing.

                My original intention was to make fun of people who call things they don’t think are manly enough “gay”. Just because the word can have different definitions depending on who’s using it doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to use it derogatorily or as a shorthand for a perceived social negative.

                • minorkeys@sh.itjust.works
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                  11 days ago

                  It is very confusing. It was not so confusing until the existing words were all changed to not mean what they did. Now nobody can even tell me if there are words for the concepts that the words once meant, even though the concepts still exist but now don’t have words. Almost like it’s an effort to erase the very concepts. Which wont work as long as ppl find meaning in those concepts and the distinctions they make.

                  Am I just crazy to consider groups of humans with the same reproductive organs to be meaningful things to have a words for?

                  • PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.worldOPM
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                    11 days ago

                    We do have names for them because the way science works is you update the way you talk about things when you learn more information about how they truly work. We used to think sickness was caused by an imbalance of the four humors, but now we know that there are tons of different causes for different diseases and they all work in different, complex ways. I’ll reiterate the other reply.

                    To refer to someone by the genitals they were born with, you use AMAB and AFAB, if you’re discussing solely biological sex and not gender identity. You can call someone presenting masculine male regardless of their reproductive organs, or you can call someone with a penis male if you don’t know their gender identity but they either apparently present masculine after they understand the concept of gender, or they don’t present a gender identity at all before their concept of gender identity forms. That’s why in most discourse now we don’t use “male” and “female” to describe humans since it’s reductive and bioessentialist language, and reserve it for animals since they don’t have a concept of gender identity. We instead use “man” and “woman” for people who identify as either binary gender regardless of biological sex, and AMAB and AFAB for biological sex regardless of gender identity.

          • PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.worldOPM
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            11 days ago

            The way I see it: If you’re a guy, cis or trans, and you exclusively have sex with a guy, cis or trans, you’re gay. If you’re a guy and you exclusively have sex with women, cis or trans, you’re straight. But different people might classify those labels under what physical body types you’re attracted to instead of gender identity, so I prefer to use body-specific language when talking about sexual activities rather than gender identity and sexual orientation, because the latter two can make talking about sex more confusing than it needs to be.

              • PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.worldOPM
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                11 days ago

                An adult human who identifies as male due to their male brain chemistry, independent of assigned birth sex based on genitals, secondary sex characteristics, or sex chromosomes.

                • minorkeys@sh.itjust.works
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                  11 days ago

                  Is male not an assigned birth sex based on reproductive organs? What do we call everyone who has an inny and everyone who has an outy genitals?

                  • PhenomenalPancake@lemmy.worldOPM
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                    11 days ago

                    AMAB and AFAB, if you’re discussing solely biological sex and not gender identity. You can call someone presenting masculine male regardless of their reproductive organs, or you can call someone with a penis male if you don’t know their gender identity but they either apparently present masculine after they understand the concept of gender, or they don’t present a gender identity at all before their concept of gender identity forms. That’s why in most discourse now we don’t use “male” and “female” to describe humans since it’s reductive and bioessentialist language, and reserve it for animals since they don’t have a concept of gender identity. We instead use “man” and “woman” for people who identify as either binary gender regardless of biological sex, and AMAB and AFAB for biological sex regardless of gender identity.