• Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    18 hours ago

    Hijacking top comment to also add that there are words for men who are attracted to femininity outside of the bounds of cisgender women: gynesexual (older term, less inclusive due to implication of a vagina) and finsexual (newer term, more inclusive and drops implication of a vagina).

    It is quite likely that many of those men actually fall into these categories even if they have not accepted that about themselves as of yet. Others are bisexual, and even others are pansexual, and haven’t “come out” as it were.

    Especially if this is relying on self-reporting and how often men want to appear straight, the number of men who are wrestling with such feelings but still put down “straight” is probably quite high.

    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
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      16 hours ago

      even if they have not accepted that about themselves

      They also may not even know. The whole thing is a political minefield and trying to join in any conversation without knowing all the words tends to trigger a massive overreaction from allies and bigots alike.

      • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        16 hours ago

        I mean it’s why I hate people who self apply the term “ally” because a lot of “allies” do more harm than help.

        Allyship is to be determined by those who need allies, not the people who talk big and claim to be allies while doing fuck-all.

        If someone from a minority community decides I am an ally to their cause and calls me an “ally” then I am an ally, not because I self applied a bullshit label to make myself feel better about cisgender white guilt or something.

        • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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          7 hours ago

          I would argue that one can be a self professed ally and still be an ally, even if you did it wrong.

          Sometimes, just being willing to stand up and say “those people there? Those are my people, and I stand with them” is a powerful thing, even if the person saying it ends up being a fuckwit overall.

          So, even folks that claim alliance to an oppressed group can end up a net positive just by inflating numbers, even when their specific views and actions aren’t well considered otherwise.

          I get where you’re coming from though!

      • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        17 hours ago

        Coined in July of 2014 on tumblr:

        https://web.archive.org/web/20150324190159/pride-flags-for-us.tumblr.com/tagged/androsexual

        The “fin” prefix means “feminine in nature” and so the opposite where you’re attracted to people “masculine in nature” is minsexual. This confuses a lot of people because normally a prefix isn’t also an acronym, it’s usually from a root word.

        So, I think it’s a good replacement for gynesexual/androsexual, despite the slightly confusing nature of its origin.

        • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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          17 hours ago

          Thank you! Not gonna lie, that was underwhelming. Also, I really hope the double f and double m variants don’t stick, because that is a hot mess. While the new terms clarify language and improve communication, the doubles just make communication hard and imprecise.

          • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            17 hours ago

            Yeah I agree on that, the doubles make it way more confusing, and its confusing enough to people since the prefix is an acronym while people are scanning dictionaries trying to figure out a root word that doesn’t exist.

    • velma@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      18 hours ago

      Thank you! I actually learned about those two terms recently, I appreciate you putting those out here!

      My husband is finsexual and it’s nice to have a more accurate word for it :)