Let’s say a man decides to change his last name for no other reason than he hates his dad’s last name, and that dad refuses to call his son by his new last name. Then, in my opinion, his son should be 100% allowed to call him any mean name or slur he wants—‘dick,’ ‘shithead,’ the R slur, whatever. You shouldn’t get to disrespect people and expect respect back, so if this person gets called a slut and gets mad, I really can’t feel sympathy for him.
Yeah that is unless you change your name from Dave to “Xavier” or “Aurora” or some shit like that.
Agree on rude names and swear words. Disagree on slurs. Slurs always bounce off the intended target and hit someone vulnerable who doesn’t deserve it.
This is less of a shower thought and more of a “I went into the shower pissed off, and come out still pissed off to write about it” kinda post.
Not saying the point isn’t valid, just that is doesn’t match what shower thoughts is about… but that is just my opinion.
Yes pixel and grim are the same person.
If you refuse to respect the spirit of shower thoughts, I really can’t feel sympathy for you.
Grim out here just advertising his alternate accounts now
Sad, when trolls begin to spiral.
Did you happen to change your name?
I think that only escalates the conflict minimising the probability of a resolve dramatically…
I think what you two need is long honest talk where both parties give their best listening and trying to understand each others feelings and beliefs.
The best method to achieve this is different for any relationship, for some it together at a dire with some beers, for some it is hiking etc. Basically a place where both feel secure and have their privacy together.
i’m of the opinion that if someone has done their best* [1] to consider the consequences of an approach and chooses to take that approach while accepting the potential outcomes, then that is an acceptable decision making process.
In some cases escalation might be a potential outcome and as long as the person understands that, then them choosing that option is their considered choice.
In the same way that freedom of speech* [2] isn’t freedom from consequences, freedom of choice isn’t freedom from other peoples choosing to act against you.
If you want to make what seems like a poor choice from my point of view, i might advise against it, but ultimately it’s up to you.
However, i’m also free to try and stop you if that’s what i choose. In this case i’m not looking to curtail your choices, but i am pitting my choice against yours.
I’d like a different last name.
I spent 50 years knowing cats are called cats.
If you tell me one day, cats are suddenly called billybongs or whatever now… Fuck you. Its a cat.
That’s not a very good analogy A singular person can name themselves whatever they want, not single handedly change the name of humanity.
"I tied an onion to my belt, as was the fashion at the time. "
Language isn’t static. Once most people use a word differently, that word changes. Get over it or get used to being incorrect.
I’m gonna go pet my billybong now.
My billybong is an orange asshole with one brain cell that he shares with all of the other orange billybongs.
I love my orange billbong, fiercely.
Changing your name in order to disassociate yourself from someone (especially to a name from a TV show you have no connection to) is also disrespectful, does your argument work both ways?
Hey OP, I found your Dad’s account
Changing your name in order to disassociate yourself from someone (especially to a name from a TV show you have no connection to) is also disrespectful
How is that “disrespectful”? In what way is that “disrespectful”? And if someone is a big fan of Iron man hates his current last name and wants to change it to “Stark” why shouldn’t he.
How is it not? If you change your name to specifically distance yourself from someone then that is a sign that you don’t respect that person.
Maybe you really don’t respect someone and want to show it, that’s fine. It’s ok to not respect a person if you find them unworthy of respect.
There are several valid reasons to change your name, wanting to disassociate yourself from someone is completely valid. For example, Austrian composer Thomas Wanker changed his name to Wander, more for practical reasons.
I disagree with your thought path.
A person changing his name to disconnect from a family name isn’t a direct disrespect to the family name. It is an individual choosing direct respect for himself. Family is dynamic. Blood doesn’t automatically mean family.
This is similar to the arguments about respecting another person’s religious decision.
Your religious decisions can sway any decisions that you choose to make about your life. Your religious decisions will not hold away over any decisions that I make about my life.
I’m not saying it’s disrespecting the family name, I’m saying it’s disrespecting his father specifically, and that’s fine.
I think the religious opinion analogy is slightly different, this is someone who:
- Has a name that has an association to another person.
- They don’t like the other person.
- They want to change the name to remove the association.
That is a valid thing to do, but it is directly disrespectful to the other person because it directly expresses the fact that they don’t like them.
It is fine to not respect people based on their choices and behaviour. It is fine to express disrespect to people you don’t respect.
Nothing is disrespectful in wanting to change a name to no longer be associated with a toxic person, for example.
It is still disrespectful, I’m not saying that disrespect isn’t justified. My original comment was pointing out the cycle of disrespect caused by OP’s position.
How or to whom is it disrespectful if people say your current name in a mocking way and you just wanna avoid that?
I’m missing the context of people mocking the name, where was that added? OP only says ‘hates dad’s name’.
If people are mocking your name they are mocking you, changing your name won’t stop that.
Not really; remember the then-little girl named “Abcde” by her parents whose case made the news after, I think, a flight attendant or gatekeeper or someone during her family’s travels was reported to have laughed at seeing her name?
I’m missing the context
I was no longer talking about OP but just in general giving a perfectly valid reason for a name change. We don’t exactly get to pick into whose families we’re born and parents certainly make suboptimal decisions from time to time (if not far more frequently)…
Not really; remember the then-little girl named “Abcde” by her parents whose case made the news after, I think, a flight attendant or gatekeeper or someone during her family’s travels was reported to have laughed at seeing her name?
I’m missing the context
I was no longer talking about OP but just in general giving a perfectly valid reason for a name change. We don’t exactly get to pick into whose families we’re born and parents certainly make suboptimal decisions from time to time (if not far more frequently)…
Oh so you’re completely ignoring the context of OP’s decision and pretending that I’m making a blanket judgement on all name changes, glad we cleared that up.
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