Here’s my “black coffee” this morning.
Double infuriating: everytime I tell people that “baristas” and coffee people can’t comprehend the concept of black coffee, I get back talk. Here’s the first coffee I’ve ordered in 10 years because of this persistent problem, guess what, they lived up to the complaint… they can’t formulate the concept of black coffee in their own mind.
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Problem I get is some places call it an Americano when us Aussies generally call it a long black. Same shit with cup sizes, it’s maddening when you have to figure out how to order your usual at some place pretending to be more upmarket than they are
As others have said, just avoid McCafe like the plague find an actual coffee spot via recommendations from locals
Whatever lives in your car probably infected the coffee. The coffee is the least gross part in this photo.
OP went to McDonald’s (it reads McCafé, and the colours are right) and is trash talking minimum wage employees because he couldn’t be fucked to be clear in communication, and likely couldn’t offer a modicum of respect for the employees.
Your expectations are way too high for McDonald’s. They are not baristas, and most importantly, they are most likely teenagers. It’s not impossible you accidentally got someone else’s coffee, too. Shit happens. Stop being a child about it, and politely ask to switch it out.
OP, you have issues. Also, your car is fucking disgusting, I feel bad for whatever mechanic has to work on it. Start with that, you have bigger problems in life.
Honestly, the coffee at the McDonald’s in Germany and the Netherlands is really good. Better than many coffee shops and Starbucks. It’s the only reason I sometimes go to McDonald’s. When traveling, it usually is the best you can get at train stations. Especially when drinking black.
Will have to test that out if I ever visit! Here in Canada, it’s mildly better than Tim’s but it’s still just stained water IMO. Rather go to a real coffee shop, or god forbid, Starbucks.
I prefer my freshly grinded home brew. I’m never drinking Starbuck, it’s tasteless toxic junk. It’s not even in the coffee category. I prefer drinking my own piss over that equally disgusting yet expensive liquid waste.
Same tbh, still better than Tim’s / McD somehow. There’s a community roasting facility near where I live, and it means I’m surrounded with excellent coffee shops that roast their own beans there, so whatever I buy and grind myself from these shops will be excellent.
I think most people overlook the importance of drinking really good coffee. Sure, you get some caffeine from blackwater, but the moment of enjoyment when drinking something proper, that moment of bliss in the morning, makes your day start so much better. Mediterranean countries understand this principle. Same goes for food.
Also, I don’t know what Tim’s is.
I mostly drink decaf, so I literally drink coffee mostly for taste.
Clean your car before whatever is growing in it becomes sentient.
My car looks like that but I’d never be bold enough to post it online, and certainly not while trash talking somebody else.
As a side note though, I’ve always had people give me the cream pods on the side.
The coffee looks gross, but somehow not the most infuriating part of this image
I had to go back and check. OP what the fuck
Y’all ever watch time-lapsed car interior detailing videos? Very satisfying, albeit disgusting.
I prefer power washing or mowing videos because you get the satisfaction without it starting as something that is gross.
Weird. I only drink black and this has never happened to me. Not sure why you’re getting the short end of the stick
Apparently the “you can’t order a black coffee anymore” thing is a common conservative fantasy
I honestly was blissfully unaware until I stumbled across the above video
As somebody who only drinks black, I can confirm, there are no problems anywhere ordering it. Just tell them black coffee, or iced Americano, or an espresso shot, or whatever. And if they make mistake and you show it to them they’ll fix it. There is literally no conspiracy here
No, but it makes room for places like Black Rifle Coffee Company to take market share.
Well, that’s a new one to me. Thanks for the link!
I also only drink it black and have never had this happen to me.
I’m not sure
But one thing I am sure of, is there’s always somebody like you who pops up to insist the problem does not exist
You’re probably a barista
My job as the customer is to say “black coffee please”. The rest is not up to me. So I can’t speculate why people cannot comprehend the concept of black coffee.
Yeah, that’s not what I said. Enjoy your creamer
No you were absolutely polite, giving him 100% the benefit of doubt. And yet he made this weird attack.
I also drink it black and have never had this happen to me.
You know how people with anti-tailgating bumper stickers are also the worse and most clueless drivers going ten under the speed limit?
I think we’ve found the reason why people don’t care if your order is correct or not.
If you’re constantly surrounded by assholes… you’re probably the asshole.
Damn who put milk in your coffee?
All you’ve managed to do is prove that you are the issue here. They’re probably making the wrong order because you’re a POS. Tens or hundreds of millions of people order black coffee every day without any issues, most who’ll never get a wrong order in their life. If you keep getting the wrong thing then there is surely something wrong from your side.
I’ve ordered black coffee from many places for many years and not once gotten a wrong order. Never been a batista, don’t see how that would matter anyway.
I truly think this is either just bad luck on your part or poor communication.
You’ve probably never been a barista.
I get coffee with c & s sometimes, black sometimes, depending on what I feel like. But I always make it crystal clear exactly how much cream and sugar I want. If I want it black, I don’t just say “black coffee please”. I say “coffee, NO cream NO sugar”.
They get orders for coffee many times a day, and most people want c & s, and most people even expect it without specifying it. So even though you say “black”, it may not register unless you clarify that that means no cream, no sugar.
not op but, I mean… I’m all for more detail but, I can’t shift the blame on this one. “no cream no sugar” is literally what “black coffee” means… If I go to a McDonald’s and ask for a cheeseburger, I’m not going to ask them to put cheese on it, its expected as it’s a cheese burger.
I don’t think it’s too unreasonable to expect someone working in a coffee shop, to understand what a black coffee is. To shift that blame into it somehow being the consumers inability to describe it is absurd.
Like if this was some rare or obscure thing I would fully agree… but the concept of a black coffee is super popular and by no means a rare occurrence…
Having worked at a fast food burger place, there’s absolutely people that will order a “cheeseburger” and be surprised when there’s cheese. Not many, but it happened to me a couple times. We were also trained that “plain” means no onion and pickle, but leave the ketchup and mustard on as that’s how our PoS defined the term.
if I went to a restaurant and I asked for a plain burger and they still supplied condiments, it’s going back. That’s not what a plain burger is by definition, I’ve only ever gotten plain burgers without condiments though so I haven’t experienced this. I assume they did it that way as a “well if they wanted no condiments they would specify dry” but thats still an off case.
I don’t agree with normalizing to the niche/off cases (such as your cheeseburger example). Definitions in the field should be what people generally expect. In most of the english speaking world, a cheeseburger has cheese, and a black coffee means no milk/cream, usually no sugar, I could understand them adding sugar to it, although it would annoy me, but to add milk to a black coffee is not explainable.
OK, sure, they should know. I agree, but it takes absolutely minimal effort to add “no cream no sugar” when you order.
You can be stubborn and insist that you shouldn’t have to endure the trauma of all that extra effort on your part so that you can get the wrong order and then complain about it.
There are many fast food places (in the US South, particularly) where you can order a Coke, and they’ll ask you what kind. Because saying “coke” to some people just means “soda”, not necessarily “Coca-Cola”.
I’m saying it’s a psychological thing. Coffee is black, so when someone says “black coffee”, it may not click in the barista’s mind that they actually want percolated/drip coffee with no cream or sugar. All they hear is the coffee part, and so they serve it the way most people want/expect it.
Ultimately they should ask, even if you say “black”. I’ve worked fast food, and so many people just don’t know how to even order the things they want. But if they don’t ask, you - as the customer - should be able to make it clear. What do you get out of not clarifying?
To me, it’s more I wouldn’t want to sound weird to everyone else around me. Asking for a black coffee with no cream or sugar is to the same effect of saying “hi yes I would like scrambled eggs cooked please”.
If I went to my bank teller and said “Yea I would like to cash this check please” you aren’t expected to have to say “I would like to cash this check back as cash please”
These are just examples of what I mean, it’s expected that someone working in a shop that specializes in a specific topic, to at least know the basics of that product. I would definitely classify “black coffee” as a basic topic in a coffee shop.
It’s along the same lines as you wouldn’t want to be caught saying “I went to the ATM machine” it’s already defined earlier in the sentence so its redundant.
For all the examples you listed, how often is the result wrong to to lack of communication? Have you ever ordered scrambled eggs and received them uncooked, because they didn’t understand what scrambled means? Have you ever asked to cash a check, and the bank teller gave you…something other than cash?
Those are examples of things that don’t require clarification, ever. Because there is no variation of those that is even slightly common. No one ever says they want scrambled eggs raw. No one ever asks to cash a check in any other way than to receive cash. There’s no common precedent for a mistake here.
But black coffee is, evidently, just enough of a fuzzy area that it happens sometimes. I guarantee you that people order black coffee with cream and sugar, because they either think “black coffee” means “coffee” or because they think saying “black coffee” means “drip coffee” and distinguishes it from espresso.
Yes, it shouldn’t be a problem, but it is a problem. So where’s the harm in changing how you order it and saying “coffee no cream no sugar” instead of “black coffee”? Just don’t say black coffee and it won’t sound redundant.
as a preface, I personally have never had a barista fail to know what black coffee mean, I understand your point but, I see black coffee to fall under the same area with no wiggle room.
A black coffee is exactly that, when you modify it it’s no longer a black coffee. Just like if you say you are cashing a check but you want to deposit it instead, that’s depositing a check not cashing it. When you add a modifier to a word like that, the expectation is that the modifier is honored.
I don’t see a precedent where a black coffee should be able to be misconstrued. I can understand your example of the drip coffee, but people saying that are going to just use “drip coffee”, “coffee”, “normal coffee” or any other phrase that isn’t already an existing product in the world. And if it is misconstrued by the consumer, that is the customers problem, and if they receive the wrong product they will realize the issue and fix it for next time. We shouldn’t be redefining existing definitions or products to fit for those cases.
You could change how you order it but, the fact is it shouldn’t be required for an establishment to provide what is ordered. The barista not knowing what a black coffee is, at the end of the day is a failure on the establishment, and indicates the employee likely wasn’t trained adequately for the job. Forcing the consumer to change how they order may help the customer, but it isn’t going to help the underlining issue which is that the barista doesn’t know what “black coffee” means, so its just going to disadvantage the next customer who does order the product.
as an ammendum though: if this was consistantly happening to me(i.e its clear it isn’t just a simple mistake due to being overworked or not caring), I likely would change the way I ordered, or more realistically stop going to that establishment because that’s a orange or yellow flag for me training wise.
My only annoyance is that a lot of places either add sugar by default or use sweetened soy/almond milk (why the fuck is sweet the default?). I’m very flexible on milk in my coffee but cannot stand any sugar in it.
I have never once had a problem with “coffee, black”. Doing more would require extra work, you’re telling me someone went out of their way to put a little cream in your coffee?
At most you were perhaps given the wrong order.
Lol your dirty cupholder is also mildly infuriating.
Mildly?? I forget how filthy so many people are. This was an unwelcome but necessary reminder lol
It’s fucking nasty. My car is overdue for a clean and this is what mine looks like (we got coffee just this morning)
everytime I tell people that “baristas” and coffee people can’t comprehend the concept of black coffee, I get back talk.
Back talk. As in talking back.
Translation: When I tell you shit, you either agree with the truth I speak, or you shut the fuck up.
Stars forbid anyone fucking disagree with you and speak their fucking minds. Conversations are one way with you: from you to everyone else.
Yea, using the phrase back talk makes them seem like a parent talking to a child. Whether I agree with what they said or not that phrase being applied the way they did it got my hackles raised.
“talking back” is really just an oddly specific way of saying “answering”, generally to acknowledge or ask further clarifying questions.
OP sounds like my parents, anything I say is talking back. They like to talk at people rather than to people.
I recall being backhanded just trying to discuss a difference of opinion. I don’t recall the conversation from 30 years ago, only that my opinion was not wanted.
I read somewhere that emotions create stronger neuronal connections than information. Your emotion of rejection is valid.
When ordering a black coffee there shouldnt be anyone else ‘speaking their mind’. It’s a plain coffee, no opinions from the barista required. It’s not a negotiation.
What is this comment?
OP is more infuriating than the post lol
Clean your car
Can I get a black coffee?
So, like, less sweet?
No, just black coffee
Any creamer?
No, just black coffee
Want me to save some space in the cup for your own creamer?
No, just fill my cup up all the way with black coffee
“Baristas don’t know how to make extremely popular and simple drink” has always been a dumb take.
Looks like hot water with a brown crayon in it.
You talking about the cup or the car?
Trying to ignore what’s going on with the car. Echt.
Let’s not overlook the spots of curdled spoiled cream on top
There is no curdled spoiled cream, I think you’re either having a very bad day and looking for things to complain about, or you have a victim complex.
“You can’t even order black coffee anymore” is a common Conservative fantasy. OP definitely has a victim complex.
Tbf, I do see tiny white specs on that coffee if you look at high res of that photo. It’s the kind of thing you see a lot at poor quality coffee places though I usually drink it anyway for the caffeine addiction.
It’s not a black coffee, and they’re spoiled curdled cream on it
Literally every time I talk about the black coffee problem, assholes show up to deny
You’re actually advancing the idea that I’m creating problems here? I ordered a fucking black coffee and I got a cream coffee with curdled cream on it
Honest to God there’s something wrong with your brain
Literally every time I talk about the black coffee problem, assholes show up to deny
You bring up a generic boomer fantasy that doesn’t happen in the real world, using conservative boomer verbaige when you complain about it and people point out that it sounds fake? Say it isn’t so!
I hope that this mild inconvenience is the worst thing that happens to you this week, and I’m sorry that you subjected yourself to anything that comes out of a McDonalds
If everyone you interact with is an asshole, there’s a pretty strong case to be made that they’re not the problem.
Reminds me of the joke about the old lady that called her husband. “Be careful, I just saw on the news that some idiot is going the wrong way on the freeway!” Husband: “It’s not just one, there’s hundreds of 'em!”
With that in mind, that might not actually be cream.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such frustrating experiences with coffee. I wonder if my experience could help you in navigating your experience.
When I order coffee I always see how they do it.
I don’t do it to complain. In fact, even if they get my order wrong I rarely ask for a change, because whatever they give me is usually alright.
I see how they do it because I’m curious. I like to know what their process is like. I like to know what machines they use. I like to know how they organize work in the coffee shop. I like to see their technique.
Because of this curiosity, I usually understand quite well why my coffee ends up the way it does.
Yes, I am a customer. Yes, I could insist that my drink has to be different. But I prefer to accept that life is unpredictable and that we are all human. And it’s usually alright.
Here’s a video that could help: https://youtu.be/OXbQx2hfA5k
Life is alright if you accept entropy as a natural part of it.
It’s not rolling with the punches, it’s being happy with life making itself less monotonous.
I once accidentally got served an iced latte with macadamia nut milk instead of cow milk and discovered that I really like it.
You need professional help, everything about this thread screams that.
